In this time of waiting, 
I wanted to:
- blame God
- throw a pity party for myself, wasting my days away
- separate myself from friends and family


So dear future me, 
take note:
- Do not do the above things. 


Instead, do the opposites and then some:
- trust God - Read the psalms for encouragement
- confide in good friends and family 
- Know that its gonna be ok. 
- Be proactive, get things done.
Even if it's just doing something for 5 minutes, do it. 
        Finishing one small task will give you motivation to go on. 

Wildflowers

Source

"Nothing is too costly as a tribute to Your unrivaled love, and yet You receive with favor the smallest sincere token of affection! You receive our poor forget-me-nots and love-tokens as though they were intrinsically precious, though indeed they are but as the bunch of wild flowers that the child brings to his mother."

C.H. Spurgeon, Morning and Evening.

on sin

Lately, I have been thinking a lot about sin.

The reasoning behind it, and the consequences of it.

I realized one thing:

           sin hurts.

It hurts you. It hurts those around you.

Maybe that is one reason why God hates sin,

          Because sin hurts.

Even when we think no one else knows.

But remember,

Jesus died for our sins. For our hurts. For the hurts others have caused us. He took Father-God's wrath on our sin upon Himself. The King of Glory became as a criminal for me, for you. Oh. How He loves us.

"Upon that cross of Jesus mine eye at times can see

The very dying form of One Who suffered there for me;

And from my stricken heart with tears two wonders I confess;

The wonders of redeeming love and my unworthiness.  " 

Elizabeth Clephane, Beneath the cross of Jesus

I just found my first gray hair.
Boy, I am getting old.

on praying

It's a strange feeling when you pray for someone.
You have this sense of empathy for them.
Like you know what they are going through.
You realize you are not the only one going through this crazy, and sometimes cruel, and other times, wonderful life.
And other things that you do to waste your time, just don't cut it anymore.
Once you start praying, you realize you can truly care for more people.

Stardust?

I'm who I am

a trail of stardust 

leading to the 

Superstar. 

Thanks Lecrae, Thanks Hubble

Today, I understood that He answers prayers.
    Long story short: I prayed for something for someone else, and He answered.
Amen.

I really should stop doubting HIS goodness.
Scarcely for a righteous man, would one die. Maybe, for a good man, he would dare to die.
But God shows His love in this:
     That while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. 
Romans 5:7-8