So goes one of the Sunday school rhymes. I teach kids these things, but i am not so sure I myself obey Him completely.
I sing,
have thine own way Lord,
Have thine own way, but in all honesty,
I want to have my own way, not His way.
To follow a set of rules on what to wear, what to eat, you know, that's relatively easy.
To follow Him wholeheartedly, obeying His Word and His voice in every action I do, that.. that is hard.
I just want comfort, to wake up everyday knowing all is well with the world.
I do, i do, want a home with a whitepicket fence and my lovely husband, and my perfect little children...
But I know that the moment i "signed up" to become a Christian, my comfort is one option i could not choose.
because all isn't well with the world.
I wanted to be a Christian on my own terms - be a private Christian you know - the Lord saved me, and thanked God for that, and live the rest of my life as nothing else and no one else mattered. But that isn't right. Because people matter.
I want to be like Jesus. To care about the children, the prostitute, and everyone in between. I want to love my literal neighbors, and not shy away from talking to them. I want to cry when my friends are sad, like He did. I want to marvel at nature and tell stories about sheep and trees. I want to speak with my heavenly Father, enjoying His presence and delighting in doing His will.
But following Jesus means I must bear HIS cross. It means, I will be mocked. It means, people will misunderstand me. I will be a fool. I will be hurt beyond any reason. I will cry for reasons I do not yet understand.
But one day, when I see Him face to face, He will wipe away every tear from my eyes with His nail-pierced hands. This is the greatest comfort I could hope for.
