grace

I need more grace today. 
Just a bit more grace to get through the day. 

When the going gets tough, 
the tough get going. 

But I am not tough. 
No, no, you see, 
I am a coward.  

So I just need more grace
A bit more grace to get through the day. 

Grace to forgive.
Grace to live
Grace to love You as much as You love me. 

Grace. 
More grace for today. 

Confessions

I tried all I could
to make you proud.
I gave up more than I should
to be good enough for you.

But it's never gonna be good enough.
And I am never gonna make you proud.

It is harder than it looks
to fight the struggles I have faced.
To overcome these trials
it takes more than I could give.

But it's never gonna be good enough.
And I am never gonna make you proud.

But He love me so.
And His grace will always be enough.

And my striving stops,
At the sight of Him
Who will always be enough.

a love letter to my Savior

Thank You dear Jesus for believing me and my crazy, stupid dreams.

Thank You that You had a ridiculous dream for me, to save me from myself and my pride, and for making that dream come true.

Thank You that You made the impossible possible.

Thank you for understanding me for all my faults, and loving me in spite of them.

Thank You for not laughing at me when I tell You all my thoughts, and for taking me seriously.

I love You.

the Best of times and the Worst of times

A couple of days ago, I was reading in 2 Corinthians, and found this little treasure:

"That in a great TRIAL of AFFLICTION, the ABUNDANCE of their JOY and their DEEP POVERTY abounded in the RICHES of their LIBERALITY (2 Cor. 8:2)."

It has been a rough couple of weeks, or rather, a rough month in general. The pressures of reality crowded my thoughts, and I had no peace for a long time. My only hope, my solace was the Lord. He always is. And I still don't have anything together. Nothing fixed, nothing solved. Just me, broken. I try anything to get out of my pain. I use entertainment to keep my mind busy, so as to not face reality.

But I read this verse the other day, and it reminded me that God loves to use us when we are feeling rather useless. In times of our deepest poverty, He gives us the riches of liberality to pour out onto others. This verse is oxymoronic, much like the rest of the New Testament. Things we do not think should go together like joy and trial, poverty and riches, are all put together to make up this lovely verse.

This God of ours, He is pretty great isn't He? He doesn't think like we do, no. Instead, He has this whole new way of thinking. The upside-down kingdom, as some call it. The things that men count as worthy are nothing in the kingdom of God. So, rejoice my soul. Bless Him. Even our deepest poverty, can turn into an abundance of joy.